About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
