halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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