she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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