is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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