Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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