its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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