Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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