the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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