when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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