physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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