i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He keeps bees of course he's weird
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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