If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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