I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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