Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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