you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
