CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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