thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
