I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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