dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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