i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
