And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
