TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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