Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
