SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
