you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize