You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
