So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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