I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
