and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
