ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The Olympian is in my bed
last night I used snow as a chaser
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
