HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize