i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
