Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
