He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
