I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My feet surprised me
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