Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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