I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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