so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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