I cockslap morals
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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