Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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