whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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