I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
