google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
