dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
