Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
