If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
