so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
