We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
