I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize