the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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