we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
