I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
