You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
