im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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