I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
