Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
