my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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