Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
