it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dear god my vagina.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
