That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
