My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
