Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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